“….Standing in a group one day I became very aware of how firmly my feet were placed on the floor, how solid I felt in my stance, and then I noticed my trembling skirt…..”

This quote represents how we can have conflicting feelings in a moment, or how contradictory senses, such as feeling confident and anxious or feeling both solid and unsettled, may be part of our general way of being and relating to others.

It also illustrates that what might be perceived by others (a firm footed solid stance)  may not be the whole picture of experience for the individual ie the anxiety or unsettled feelings behind the ‘trembling skirt’ .

A sense of being perceived or portraying ourselves only partially can lead to a confused sense of who we are.  Or, it may be that we are unsure if it is ok to be ‘who we are’ .

This confusion can manifest in thoughts or difficulties such as “I can’t cry in front of him, he’ll think I’m weak”, “I have to be strong for her”,  “I can’t ask questions, I’m the one who is meant to know”, “If they knew I thought that they wouldn’t want to know me…..”, “I don’t know who I am”, “ I hate myself”, “I don’t know what I feel…”, “I’m anxious”, “I don’t know why I’m upset”, “I’m not sleeping”, “I feel out of sorts”, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me”, “I’m tired all the time”…..

We can all ‘put on a brave face’ or ‘have a work self and a private self’ but sometimes these distinctions can be debilitating or unfulfilling and can result in a person not feeling ‘themselves’ or feeling as if a part of them has to be hidden or even wondering “who am I?”.   Therapy can help to regain that feeling of “being myself” or to work towards a clearer sense of “who I am”.

I’d love to hear about your own experiences and any thoughts on this topic:  If you’d like to be part of this, please go to my Facebook page for comments and discussions.