Depression

For those who suffer with depression life can be exhausting and flat.

Symptoms of depression can come and go and can feel extreme, or minor.  It can be difficult for sufferers and people in their lives to understand what is going on, why, and what can help.

This video offers a good insight into Depression, take a look:

If you suffer from depression and would like to seek help please be in touch and we can arrange an initial session to discuss therapy and how I work.

 

Looking for a therapist…..

It can be overwhelming searching through profiles and choosing a therapist. 

Most people aren’t aware of the safeguards that are in place to help you.  For example, the UKCP is a counselling and psychotherapy member organisation which only allows therapists to join if they have undertaken and qualified with an approved accredited training programme .

Members of the UKCP  will be listed on their site, you can see my profile by clicking the link.

Alternatively, the The Counselling Directory  also confirms therapists’ professional memberships before enabling therapists to advertise on their site.  You can see my profile here: Fiona Roskilly-Pond

 

Do you suppress your emotions?

“If we suppress our emotions as an ongoing strategy what would have naturally been a passing emotion, or emotional process, might be held in the body, causing us difficulties….”
Ronnie Aaronson (Addiction: This being human. Published 2006 p19)

Many of us have experiences of suppressing emotions.
There are may different ways of doing this, such as:

  • using humour to deny the emotion
  • using alcohol or drugs to numb any feeling
  • making sense of things logically, denying the emotional
  • absenting ourselves mentally (switching off/going blank)
  • throwing ourselves into something else as a distraction (work, fitness, sex, fun)

If this pattern of dealing with emotions becomes the norm, then, amongst other things, it can lead to addiction, depression, anxiety, an inability to have healthy relationships and/or physical ailments.

Often we are unaware of these patterns, talking in therapy can help identify these patterns in a way which is supportive and compassionate.  Once identified, they can be understood*, challenged and eventually reduced.  This happens as part of the process, through which connecting with your emotions becomes more bearable and defences against them are needed less and less.

*all defences exist for good reason, but sometimes the mind and body activate them when they are not needed.

 

Do you have any experiences of this or anything you would like to share on the topic?  Head over to my Facebook page and join in……

Love is a core human need

Love is often described in poetry, literature and song, it is depicted in paintings and art forms, visualised in films, evoked through music.


Images and messages of love fill social media, especially on Valentine’s Day – the Day of Love.

It is a core human need and most people have experiences of desire, longing, searching, seeking, finding, giving, falling in, losing, breaking and grieving for Love.

What does Love mean to you?

What are your experiences of Love?
Head over to my Facebook page to comment……

Sometimes words are hard to find

So, today my blog is an image……. I’d be interested to hear how you connect to it,  or what images or words come up for you.

I’d love to hear about your own experiences and any thoughts on this topic:  If you’d like to be part of this, please go to my Facebook page for comments and discussions.

“You will see me. I am here.”

I wonder what this brings up for you?

– Demanding.  Pleading.

– Upset.  Rage.  Desperation.  Loneliness. Hurt.  Betrayal.

– Confidence. Determination. Sure-footedness. Certainty.

– Grit. Pain. Defiance. Resilience. Vulnerability.

– ……?

The beautiful thing about emotive words is that we connect to them in ways unique to our own experiences.  How we connect with words and stories can tell us about ourselves.  Stories unravel in therapy and help us understand our own novel, the pages, scenes and chapters in our own life book……

I’d love to hear about your own experiences and any thoughts on this topic:  If you’d like to be part of this, please go to my Facebook page for comments and discussions.

“….Standing in a group one day I became very aware of how firmly my feet were placed on the floor, how solid I felt in my stance, and then I noticed my trembling skirt…..”

This quote represents how we can have conflicting feelings in a moment, or how contradictory senses, such as feeling confident and anxious or feeling both solid and unsettled, may be part of our general way of being and relating to others.

It also illustrates that what might be perceived by others (a firm footed solid stance)  may not be the whole picture of experience for the individual ie the anxiety or unsettled feelings behind the ‘trembling skirt’ .

A sense of being perceived or portraying ourselves only partially can lead to a confused sense of who we are.  Or, it may be that we are unsure if it is ok to be ‘who we are’ .

This confusion can manifest in thoughts or difficulties such as “I can’t cry in front of him, he’ll think I’m weak”, “I have to be strong for her”,  “I can’t ask questions, I’m the one who is meant to know”, “If they knew I thought that they wouldn’t want to know me…..”, “I don’t know who I am”, “ I hate myself”, “I don’t know what I feel…”, “I’m anxious”, “I don’t know why I’m upset”, “I’m not sleeping”, “I feel out of sorts”, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me”, “I’m tired all the time”…..

We can all ‘put on a brave face’ or ‘have a work self and a private self’ but sometimes these distinctions can be debilitating or unfulfilling and can result in a person not feeling ‘themselves’ or feeling as if a part of them has to be hidden or even wondering “who am I?”.   Therapy can help to regain that feeling of “being myself” or to work towards a clearer sense of “who I am”.

I’d love to hear about your own experiences and any thoughts on this topic:  If you’d like to be part of this, please go to my Facebook page for comments and discussions.

“….a feeling arose: a desire to be with others, a need to be with myself ”

There is often tension between wanting to be with people, to feel able to rely on someone, to be dependent, cared for and wanting to be by yourself, to be independent, not reliant on another, to look after yourself. 

This struggle can result in confusing feelings within yourself and can be part of difficulties in relationships.

It is an innate struggle derived from the time we are born; it starts with the cutting of the umbilical cord and a developing sense of our separateness as we grow and develop outside of the womb.  We are of course initially entirely dependent upon the care of another in order to survive, as we grow older this balance of being cared for and being able to care for ourselves evolves. How this happens and the feelings that grow alongside depends on our own personal experiences.  We all have our own unique struggle with this. 

I’d love to hear about your own experiences and any thoughts on this topic:  If you’d like to be part of this, please go to my Facebook page for comments and discussions.
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Knowing someone ‘gets it’ can be extremely therapeutic

Knowing someone ‘gets it’ can be extremely therapeutic. This is a significant part of any psychotherapy treatment and can be achieved in 1:1 work as well as through support groups. The quote below is specific to terrorist incidents but relates to any kind of trauma suffered, whether caused by a one off incident or through developmental trauma from growing up “not being understood”. Having someone to listen who ‘gets it’ helps. ‘Getting it’ can be through shared experience, such as in a support group of others in similar situations, and through an exploratory 1:1 psychotherapy relationship.

This BBC article (link below) is interesting in how many people tried to ‘carry on as normal’ after being on the tube in the 7/7 bombing. They walked away physically unharmed – their injuries ‘invisible’ ……mental health is often invisible until it gets too much. The work of the Psychologist team in this article is a good example of trying to raise awareness of the importance of taking mental health seriously and making it more ‘ok’ to talk about and ask for help.

“The positive effects of peer support for survivors of major terrorist incidents has begun to change how treatment is planned in case of future attacks. “ (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-33393468)

I’d love to hear about your own experiences and any thoughts on this topic:  If you’d like to be part of this, please go to my Facebook page for comments and discussions.